Why I look forward to living in a tolerant free society
by rebeccaMpells
Tolerant.
A word which has become so commonplace in western society that if the Oxford English Dictionary were listed in order of ubiquity it would appear near the beginning. It is viewed as something good, worthy, virtuous even – the hallmark of a progressive society. There is an air of self-congratulation about it because we have managed to suppress something we instinctively feel, in order to promote an outer acceptance. Politicians and other leaders announce that we live in a tolerant society as if we have arrived at some kind of cultural ideal.
But is it really this simple? To feel tolerant of something you first have to perceive it as different from you in some shape or form, most often the opinion or behaviour of another individual or group. The term has become synonymous with accepting people from other countries and cultures into the place in which we live and work. But the very act of tolerating keeps us separate from those we wish to integrate with. If you feel the need to tolerate, then you are still experiencing a difference from yourself which you feel some discomfort about. It suggests an element of effort, a ‘putting up with’ for the benefit of the greater good.
Perhaps this doesn’t matter if it enables people to live together in a friendly and cordial manner. However, the wall of tolerance often serves only to restrain the frustration at having to accept that which our instincts tell us to be wary of. Under pressure from external stress such as unemployment or lack of resources, these repressed feelings break forth in the form of blame or anger directed at those we previously accepted. From early humans to modern man instinct has provided a warning to be cautious of strangers and tolerance is merely a sticking plaster covering this innate response and does little to negate it completely.
But overcome it we can, as living alongside those from other parts of the globe becomes the norm and over time differences will cease to both us, there will be no tolerance required, no pre-judgement or labelling as to who is friend and who is foe. Historically migration took centuries, the mixing of cultures happened slowly with integration following initial resistance. My own DNA can be traced back centuries to the North Caucasus region on my maternal side and Germanic roots on my father’s. At the time of testing in 2009 the closest match on record to my genetic profile was that of a Turkish individual and an Iranian. It’s not so much that we will end up in one homogenous melting pot but rather than eyed with suspicion, our differences will be embraced.
Already the 21st century has seen a rapid increase in relocation but our instincts, slow to change their habitual response, have yet to catch up. One day the word ‘tolerant’ maybe obsolete and dropped entirely from the Oxford English Dictionary . . . only then will we live in a truly free society.
With all due respect, I disagree with you completely. There are great differences between people. And strangely enough, the more similar we are, the more the differences irritate us. We can see that in the bible, where the very first conflicts are recorded between brothers. Tolerance is a way to accept the fact that we are not all the same, and does not necessarily have to raise the level of frustration. Just as we can live with other species, horses, dogs and cats… so we can learn to live with people who are different than we are, giving them respect and consideration.
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Hi Shimon. Oh dear, perhaps I have not been as clear in my message as I’d hoped. I most definitely don’t want us to all be alike (that would be rather boring!) but to embrace our differences. My point is about the misuse of the word tolerance which suggests a holding back and although a step along the path, is not to my mind, the same as total acceptance. I want us to get to the point where tolerating is not necessary because differences don’t bother us. Like someone with a different eye colour, we may notice this but we don’t feel the need to tolerate it or treat them any differently. Or the horses, dogs and cats you mention, we don’t ‘tolerate’ them, we just accept them and live happily with them. That’s my point. At the moment many still feel an automatic wariness of others based purely on different skin colour or religion etc. I would like us to get to a place where we don’t have this instinctual response. Tolerance may be a step in the right direction but for me it’s not the end destination.
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Well, I can certainly agree with your call for acceptance… though I do think that it is natural to encounter those whole style is unsuitable to our taste. I’ve had that experience many times. And then tolerance is the path to acceptance. Thanks for your explanation.
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And thank you for your thoughts Shimon.
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Hello Rebecca,
thank you so much for following my blog! I apologize that it took me so long to visit. I have spring fever, and have been enjoying the mild weather. Yay!
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Thank you for following m blog. When I first came to this post I thought you’d followed the wrong one of my blogs since I rabbit on about tolerance on my other blog frequently. Generally in the way others perceive tolerance rather than in the way you describe it, which I don’t disagree with.
The world is in a shambles due to our intolerances and our greed and no-one in power seems to want to change it, no-one wants to put the arms manufacturers out of business. But without change of some kind I wonder what kind of future we will leave for the generations to come, if any.
xxx Huge Hugs xxx
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Thank you for your thoughtful comment David. Without wishing to sound too pessimistic, I think it will take many more generations to overcome our instinctual responses (ie to fear those which we perceive as different from ourselves) but tolerance, as a learnt behaviour, is a step on the right path and eventually perhaps this together with the fact that many families are now mixed race and/ or religion may eventually help us to live more peacefully. Here’s hoping!
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