Conscious Incompetence
by rebeccaMpells
Uncomfortable, frustrating, deflating and dispiriting all rolled into one. This is the state of conscious incompetence. And I am right bang in the middle of it.
The pleasure of learning a new skill has been replaced by the cold reality of daylight. The thrill of finding I could produce a painting which was ‘presentable’ has, three years on, been sharply highlighted by a gaping lack of experience. The short-term affirmation of social media approval and modest sales has been replaced by a cringing reluctance to stick my head above the public parapet.
There is so very much to learn, so much work to do, as a musician applies herself to scales so the painter must learn and practice the techniques and technicalities of their art. Long hours in the studio, alone with your thoughts and insecurities accompanied only by the silent (and sometimes not so!) monologue of self criticism.
But something drives me on, the glimpse of an idea captured on canvas, crossing the threshold of nebulous to form laying down a moment in time, an outward incarnation of an inner life. There is something calling out, bigger than and beyond me, enticing and playing with my heart a I struggle and strive; it at once elates and then strips me bare. Cleansing, simplifying, purifying and humbling perhaps one day it will enlighten also as to the core nature of this oily world in which I find myself immersed.
Top: ‘Poetry with Pomegranate and Plum’ Above: ‘Trio of Plums with Blue Jug’
Beautifully done, Rebecca!
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Thank you Amy!
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The painting is wonderful, Rebecca and I hope you will soon snap out of this uncomfortable state of conscious incompetence. In fact I know you will! 😄
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Many thanks for your compliment and encouragement. Some days you feel you have pulled through and others you are back to square one !
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I perfectly know how that goes! Best to you! 🙂
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Ha yes, I suspect it’s an experience encountered by many!
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I love your artwork. It reminds me of the Impressionists. A softness within the beauty.
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Many thanks for your comment. Impressionist is good 🙂
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Great painting
It is the way – the more you learn you are realizing what you dont know and what you have to learn
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Thank you so much Christa, from you that is praise indeed. You are so right – the more we learn the more we discover there is to learn!
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Your paintings are beautiful.
I know the feeling you are writing about — this conscious incompetence — and all that goes with it. You put it into words so well.
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Thank you for your lovely message Robin and happy that I managed to convey words with some meaning to you.
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Great works of art. It is often better to underdo than overdo. You left much to the imagination of the viewer and that is a much desired quality that you seem to have mastered.
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Thank you very much Gerard. You are right and learning that less is more has been one of the steep curves as I am usually someone who loves detail. Painting these still life’s is akin to practising my scales !
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Wonderful piece (and painting of course) you have captured so much of how I feel when painting even though I have a degree in painting I find myself feeling lost at times questioning myself and my ability 😊👍
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Thanks Lou. It’s good to know I’m not alone in experiencing this !
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Beautifully written! And it applies to most artists and forms of art, I believe. To express our inner vision in art, with oil, camera or otherwise, is a labor of love and we ourselves are our loudest critics. I really like your style as a painter (and I know I have said this before).
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Thank you Tiny. I suspect it applies to learning any new skill but when it involves creating – expressing our inner vision as you say – it is oh so personal ! And very lovely to read you like my painting style 🙂
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wishing you calm
breaths & ease 🙂
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Thank you 🙂
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